Macklemore (Alternate Reality)

US rapper Macklemore has the nerve to sing his hit "gay anthem" Same Love during the NRL Grand Final on Sunday.


Footy fans don't want to go to the biggest footy match of the year to hear a song about gay politics. They want to watch rugby league, a game for real men.

Politics and sport don't mix. You ever see John Howard bowl in cricket?

Footy fans and their children want to see footy and advertising for Telstra, Sportsbet, Holden, VB and Harvey Norman.

Footy fans don't want to be told what to do during the public debate and same-sex marriage where the aim is to convince people to vote a particular way.

Cory Bernardi

Senator Cory Bernardi is a Senator for South Australia in the Australian Parliament. He is an awful person.


Bernardi loathes social change of any kind. He was so incensed that when his former party, the Liberal Party, began to shift toward the political centre and engage in consensus politics that he left to form his own political party, Australian Conservatives.

It is a party of backwardness for backward people.

But, just this week, as a school in South Australia was seeking to raise money for children in some of the poorest place on Earth in the hope they might attend school, Bernardi attacked the charitable cause. Why? Because the casual clothes day allowed children of any gender to wear a dress. That's it.

Cunts like Bernardi see any form of difference from the mainstream as attacking the social foundations of this country. And if the foundations cause people to hate on a children's charity then those foundations need to be obliterated.

Cory Bernardi is not just a villain, he is a cunt.

Oh, by the way, the charity had hoped to raise $900; they're at $75,000 as of writing.

Malcolm Turnbull

Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull is a piece of shit for forcing this postal survey upon Australia, which is something he never promised. It is also a giant waste of money.

There was no plebiscite or postal survey undertaken by the Liberals and their leader John Howard when he criminalised same sex marriage in 2004.

Most importantly, the "debate" this postal survey will create will give licence to myriad forms of hatred and abuse as LGBTIQ people are devalued by their fellow citizens. The calendars may say 2017, but it doesn't feel like it.

Bill Shorten stated it best: "I hold you responsible for every bit of hurtful filth that this debate will unleash."


Donald Trump

Trump is permanently a villain, but this week the Coward-in-Chief sank to new lows. Small hands, who wussed out on military service 5 TIMES during Vietnam, has decided that the brave and courageous transgender soldiers are not good enough for his military. What a fucking piece of shit.







USA Police

Okay, so they're not all bad. We've all seen the movies and TV shows where there's a couple of honest cops who believe in the system.

However, a lot of cops tend to murder innocent people. Some cops in Baltimore put a suspect in the back of a van and drove a very convoluted way to the police station at high speeds. The guy died, and of course the cops were found not guilty.

There's lots more.

When Australian woman Justine Damond was killed by a Minneapolis cop people suddenly seemed more shocked. White woman I suppose. Can't murder them.

Kim Jong-un

It seems fitting for a change to have an actual villain be Villain Of The Week as opposed to some dill who made a stupid comment.

Kim Jong-un, the Chairman of the Workers' Party of Korea and Supreme Leader of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, along with his military, supposedly successfully launched an Inter-Continental Ballistic Missile.

Basically, North Korea can send a missile that can reach mainland USA, even Australia. (Better get the ol' Brisbane Line out again.)

If they can miniaturise their nukes and chuck them in one of these ICBMs then, well, it's not good. Hard to make a joke out of global nuclear war.

House prices in Darwin may soon- nah...

Cardinal George Pell (Allegedly)

The third most powerful Catholic on the planet, Australian Cardinal George Pell, has been charged with historical sexual assault offences by Victoria Police.

Photo: Alberto Pizzoli/AFP/Getty Images

Photo: Alberto Pizzoli/AFP/Getty Images

He is the most senior Catholic to face criminal charges.

There's a lot that can be said about Cardinal Pell. The most revealing words are spoken by the man himself. When facing questioning about the horrific instances of child rape happening in Ballarat when he worked in the area, Pell told the Royal Commission, “It was a sad story and of not much interest to me.”

Read this article by David Marr if you want to understand this man's mind.

The Brighton dickhead

I'm not going to name the flog who murdered an innocent worker and took a woman hostage at an apartment block in Brighton earlier this week. Giving these pricks publicity is exactly what they want. It's what Man Haron Monis wanted when he kidnapped people in the Lindt cafe in Sydney.

Photo: Justin McManus

Photo: Justin McManus

This Brighton prick was a low-life anyway. He spent time in jail for violent assaults and was an ice user. Before he fired at police he claimed his violence was in support of ISIS and al-Qaeda (they're actually enemies).

This piece of shit was pathetic and we need to make sure others aren't "inspired" by his cowardly violence, but if they are, then they ought to be locked away for a very long time.

Margaret Court

One of Australia's best sportswomen, one of Australia's shittest persons, Margaret Court has been a happy-clapper born-again Christian who believes the Bible to be literally true in every sense for many decades now. So of course she doesn't like gay people. What they do is nothing more than a "lust of the flesh" and that there is a gay minority who are "after our young ones."

(It's pretty ironic for a Fundamentalist Christian to be lecturing on the issue of taking away young people.)

Anyway, Court is like that wacky Nanna at a family BBQ who says some weird shit, usually racist (like when Court said South Africa's apartheid was good) and everyone rolls their eyes. She's been saying this stuff for years, but now that most people view LGBTIQ people as actual human beings they tend to get pissed off when someone says gay people are the devil.

Oh, tennis is also "full of lesbians" and we can't have that.

Seriously, Christians way too often forget about the dude after which their religion is named.

Tim Gurner

Tim Who? You ask. He's the douchebag who thinks millenials are wasting too much money on smashed avocado and coffee, and that's why they can't afford a house deposit.

Nevermind the fact that Mr Douchebag was handed $34,000 by his grandfather which he subsequently used to buy a gym and start his property development career. The rest is history, as they say.

(Oh, also, when people started slamming Mr Douchebag for his idiotic views he doubled down (and lost) by revealing that his employer stumped up the money for his first investment property! About $180,000 of stumping. Winning.)

Look, unless you've been on a technology detox for six years then you're aware of the whole smashed avo versus house prices debate. You'd know wages haven't kept pace with house prices blah blah blah.

Point is, if you're gonna argue that young people aren't working hard enough to save a deposit you have to realise how much of a dick you'll look like if you've gotten a MIGHTY leg up in the first place.

Tony Overheu: The Pie Man

Tony Overheu is the douchebag who shoved a pie in the face of Qantas CEO Alan Joyce because Alan Joyce has the temerity to support marriage equality.

Remember, it's the folks who want to prohibit marriage equality - and equality in general - who think the proponents of marriage equality are nasty and intolerant of dissenting opinions. Hmm.

Tony Overheu: sensitive little snowflake.

Greg Hywood

Greg Hywood, at the time of writing, is the CEO of Fairfax Media. How long he continues to maintain that position is unclear.

In March 2017, Hywood and the board of Fairfax decided he could have a $2.5m bonus. In April 2017 Hywood announced the axing of 125 positions at two of Australia's best newspapers, The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald, to ostensibly save $30m.

Hywood's bonus is equivalent to 16 full-time positions at Fairfax. There is a reason those memes about Late Capitalism keep popping up.