Keyboard Warriors Stunned As Kurt Tippet Retires From AFL

Manboys all over the Internet have today been stunned by the stunning news that Sydney Swans player Kurt Tippett has retired from the AFL, effective immediately.

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Tippett says that "the reality is that my body isn't going to stand up to the rigors of professional football."

Tippett was a high-profile whipping boy for keyboard warriors who follow AFL. Anonymous egg accounts on Twitter were constantly laying the boot into him.

One egg account announced it was "dismayed" that Tippett had retired, and wondered who "AFL fans will whinge about now?"