No Hate, Just An Aussie Welcome - October 5, 2017

Anyway, this time Andy is sneering at those progressive Australians who wanted to avoid the public debate over marriage equality. They feared the unleashing of fear, hatred and bigotry, and they have been proven right, with organisations like the Coalition for Marriage running blatantly false TV ads.

But Andy demands these "activists" say "sorry" to the "Australian public they'd damned as bigots." No, Andy, they didn't damn all Australians; that's a generalisation which is the first skill you learn after walking as a baby. No, they were concerned that powerful right-wing lobby groups would use red herrings and tell outright lies and make claims completely out of context to manipulate voters. And they were right.

Despite what Andy says, de facto gay couples do not "have the legal rights of married couples." Try allowing a gay partner of a dying person inside a hospital room. Another lie. (geez, I'm turning into a Sneer Monster myself!)

Andy also spends a lengthy amount screeching hypocrisy over a number of politicians who supported the Irish vote to legalise gay marriage but opposed the public vote here. The difference, though, is that Ireland's change required a change to constitution; here, there was simply a vote in Parliament. I don't remember a public vote when John Howard and the Coalition voted to criminalise same-sex marriage.

Of course then there are the red herrings and slippery slope arguments: if same-sex marraige is legalised then polygamy will be legalised; free speech and freedom of religion will be compromised; marriage as an institution will be forever weakened. What a load of bullshit. And Australians know bullshit when they see it.

On the Sneer-O-Meter this article ranks:

CONTEMPTUOUS

Cultural Vandals Gaining Strength - August 24, 2017

Local councils who don't want to celebrate the dispossession of Indigenous Australians on the day that Europeans came to Australia are "totalitarians."

Blah blah blah. Apparently Darebin and Yarra councils are just like the French revolutionaries during the Age of Terror, just like Stalin in Soviet Russia and Mao in Communist China. Hyperbole much?

These councilors are "puppies of the same dangerous breed" as the dictators. That's right, democratically elected governments are autocrats. Wow. Someone should do something about that.

Just for good measure, the ABC's war on Christianity is thrown in, as is the 400th mention of preachers been called to appear before anti-discrimination tribunals.

Just to clarify: totally ignoring 60,000 years of Indigenous history = fine; not celebrating invasion of another people's land and their dispossession = cultural vandalism and totalitarianism.

On the Sneer-O-Meter this ranks:

FULL-BLOWN CULTURE WARRIOR

IS Terrorists Are Not The Cowards - August 21, 2017

Long story short: because IS fanatics murder children and shoot guns at police, they are not cowards. Instead, it is Western politicians and... LOCAL COUNCILS! who are cowards because they want to foster an environment of love and tolerance.

The "god of Islam" inspires these terrorists to kill, so all Muslims must be tainted. Pauline Hanson is a hero for mocking all Australian Muslims, but if the ABC mocks Christianity then that's just wrong. Right, Andy?

Also, fuck the ABC for employing Muslims. Right, Andy?

Way to praise people who want us dead you smug fuckface.

Gettin' over this cunt now.

On the Sneer-O-Meter this ranks:

UNADULTERATED RIDICULE

 

Warped Ban Will Promote Hatred - August 17, 2017

You just knew that once Yarra council decided to bow down to the "Aboriginal grievance industry" and decided to stop celebrating Australia Day on January 26 that Andrew Bolt would spew forth. "Our mad Left" is supposedly fighting racism but here they are! Supporting "racial division."

I think the "Left" want to not celebrate the beginning of a genocide, Andy.

But these "hipster revolutionaries" - can Andrew write just one article without any sort of disparaging epithet? - did a "tricked up" survey to establish their reasoning. As Andy says, "the Left really is the home of the bullies and authoritarians."

And the Indigenous people themselves? Well, they should be thankful for "secure food supplies and sturdy homes," and "dentistry" and "pain relief." That's right folks, if Australia wasn't stolen and colonised then the Aboriginals would never have had Panadol!

Oh there's a paragraph about something wrong the ABC did wrong too, just for good measure.

It Won't End With Gay Marriage - August 14, 2017

60 years ago, Andrew Bolt would have been writing "It won't end with inter-racial marriage." A hundred years ago, he would have said "It won't end with women getting the vote." The stupid thing about conservatism is that it's always going to lose - it's just a matter of when.

Today, Andy is fretting about a slippery slope of... something. Apparently giving equal rights to same sex couples will encourage more "persecution." LGBTIQ activists are actually "bullies" who act like children "screaming and howling" for toys. How pathetic can you be Andy?

The ABC gets thrown in for good measure here. News policy manager Mark Maley sent out an email reiterating to staff that they need to be impartial, but Bolt has already declared the ABC "isn't and won't be" because he can "name a dozen ABC presenters who have endorsed same-sex marriage." Wow, didn't know adults at the ABC weren't entitled to free speech and freedom of opinion. Funny that.

Apparently religious and non-religious people need protections to discriminate against gay Australians. Imagine changing the word gay to Jew. How would we feel then?

Seems Andy's concepts of freedom only work if you do freedom his way.

On the Sneer-O-Meter this ranks:

UNADULTERATED RIDICULE

Danger Lurks In People-Swap Con - August 7, 2017

Andy really hates Turnbull. This article is sneering at Turnbull for trying to "cook up" a deal to rid Australia of its "boat people" problem. This "fraud" of a deal is only intended to serve Turnbull's "own interests, and not Australia's."

He's suggesting in this article that Turnbull was maybe going to take 31 "suspected jihadists" from Guantanamo Bay to appease Trump. Hard to fathom Turnbull fawning that much for the groper-in-chief, even if the rest of his infamous phone call was nothing but pure fawning.

I will agree with Bolt about the talking heads who got a hard-on for the "tough negotiator" in Turnbull. If giving your opposite everything they want is tough then fuck me.

Doesn't feel like Andy put much effort into this one. The side-bar about a court decision on a new synagogue would surely be better for a maniacal culture warrior such as Bolt, but then that didn't involve the conservatives public enemy number one: Malcolm Bligh Turnbull.

On the Sneer-O-Meter this ranks:

MILD DISDAIN

The New War On Christians - July 31, 2017

See, I thought Christians being "persecuted" was their thing.

Andy is warning Christians that they face a war. Secular institutions like schools, government departments and even the ABC are persecuting Christians. It is "mad" that students can't praise Jesus in the playground. How can we possibly take away the free speech of seven-year-olds? (Wonder what Andy would say if kids were praising Allah and Mohammad and denouncing America in the playground?)

Pastors sent to the Anti-Discrimination Tribunal, Student Unions threatening deregistration, a brewery bullied into silence! Persecution! According the Andy it is not free speech to picket a meeting of the Australian Christian Lobby but rather "abuse."

The media uses the excuse of priests raping children to cheer on this persecution, but they shouldn't because the raping happened decades ago and the church put a stop to it. All good, says Andy.

Of course, without Christianity we'd all be Muslims or greenies, the latter which "has not inspired a single hospital, hospice, school or even soup kitchen."

Relevance, your honour?

On the Sneer-O-Meter this ranks:

UNADULTERATED RIDICULE

Let's Throw Out Wilting Greens - July 24, 2017

I don't know how many more of these pieces I can take. All Andrew Bolt does it attack one of a bunch of bogeymen: the ABC, Labor/Greens, Malcolm Turnbull or the Elites. He does this by referencing some current issue and then repeating instances of problematic behaviour in the past. He's the person in the relationship that can't let anything go and is purely destructive.

I'm surprised this latest attack on the Greens didn't invoke Turnbull somehow.

Alas, the Greens are "dying at last." Interesting way to discuss democratic politics, Andy. I suppose they have done "terrible damage" around the world by protecting the environment. Ha!

After protecting native forests the Greens then turned to global warming to give them "relevance" - as if the protection of the planet and all its inhabitants was somehow not an issue for all politicians. Sigh.

"Can we afford the Greens?" Andy asks. Electricity prices have gone up since the repeal of the carbon tax, even though Tony Abbott promised they would go down. Gas prices are skyrocketing because we're basically giving it away to other countries instead of using it ourselves. And that's the Greens fault? Not Labor or Liberal, the actual parties who have been in actual government? Andy?

Next, the Greens commitment to social inclusion, tolerance, freedom and non-racism, or as Andy terms it, "happy-clappy multiculturalism."

Greens voters are also "adolescent in age or in temperament." Way to characterise more than a million Australians. How would Bolt react if someone from Fairfax or the ABC were to say such things about far-right voters? Hmm.

Oh, there's a throwaway line at the end about the ABC and universities. Touche.

On the Sneer-O-Meter this ranks:

UNADULTERATED RIDICULE

Losing Faith In The ABC - July 20, 2017

"What a coincidence." The first sentence is sneering!

I honestly wonder what it would be like to have a "normal" conversation with Andrew Bolt. I know his keyboard persona is a persona; we're all a little different in our professional lives and I do wonder what a sit down meal would be like at Chez Bolt.

Anyway, Andy is sneering at the ABC and journalist Julia Baird who has dared to research the disturbing instances of domestic violence that occur with evangelical Christian communities. It appears that if you work for the ABC, are female, and don't criticise Islam repeatedly then you're in for a rough time from the right-wing press.

Bolt argues it's a coincidence that Baird is presenting a story about abuse within Christian churches at the same time that George Pell is facing charges of historical sexual abuse. I'm sorry Andy but would you like journalists to not research abuse by Christians until all priests have been investigated by police, because that might take some time as history shows.

The ABC is apparently "vilifying" Pell's church and faith. LOL. Julia Baird is a Christian. A devout one. She's just not a coward like Bolt and will do the hard work of investigating domestic violence claims within Christianity.

Baird's claim is that men who sporadically attend church are more likely to abuse their partners than any other people. It's like they cherry pick the bits of their patriarchal religion which they like and use it to control. Bolt waffles on about regular church-goers but that's not Baird's point.

Once again, Bolt avoids the issue and again plays the person, not the ball.

Imagine writing hundreds of words to diminish domestic violence?

On the Sneer-O-Meter this ranks:

CONTEMPTUOUS

 

Chavez's Failures Haunt Our Left - July 13, 2017

Oh no, it looks like Andy has had to reach into the hard drive and pull out a prepared article about SOCIALISM. Apparently 10 years ago (!) a bunch of ("snowfield socialists") lefties from Australia wrote a "shameful" letter inviting Venezuelan leader Hugo Chavez to come here.

Of course, "chief thug" Chavez was an uber-socialist whose government had a massive redistribution program aimed at helping the poor. He could do this via the country's massive oil reserves.

But the price of oil plummeted thanks to the GFC and OPEC ramping up production. Now Venezuela is a "hell" you can see on TV, with prisoners "rotting" in jails, "corrupt cronies" in judicial positions and citizens left searching for food in garbage dumps.

I wonder if people have ever been impacted by a massive financial downturn in capitalist countries?

Obviously the Left in Australia are too stupid to have the foresight to see that this could happen here. The "sick" people that wrote this letter want a socialist utopia here, but all that will eventuate is a dystopia as the "green ideology... turns electricity into a luxury item."

I wonder how electricity will go as the planet enters its sixth mass extinction event?

On the Sneer-O-Meter this ranks:

FOAMING AT THE MOUTH

NOTE: This wasn't ranked as Full-Blown Culture Warrior because this is a reach back piece.

Honest Tomic Is Brutally Modern - July 6, 2017

Andrew must be working too much if all he can find time for in his bi-weekly column in Bernard Tomic. "And this is a big scandal?" Bolt asks, after Tomic revealed he struggles to find motivation to play tennis, and motivation for anything really.

Sneers Bolt: "Aren't even philosophers stumped for answers?" (I think the asking of the questions is the purpose behind philosophy, Andy.)

There a countless people who would give anything to have that sort of talent at sport and to be rewarded with $65,000 for simply losing a first round match in under two hours. There are countless people who would love to represent their country at the elite level.

Bolt even has empathy for the brat, questioning the commitment to his own keyboard-tapping job even though he is "doing something more purposeful that hitting stuff with a racquet." (Debateable.)

When you dig down, of course Bolt understands this "self-absorbed mercenary" - it's the typical conservative modus operandi: money, money, money. There's no greater good. It's all about how I can improve my lot in life. That's the Liberal way.

Seriously, if you can't even be bothered playing then why do it? Sportspeople aren't generally bright, but Tomic seems completely self-unaware. He's already been fined and lost a sponsor. Maybe his call of never having to work again came too soon.

This article is strange, though. There's not one reference to the "elites." Bolt must be running on empty.

This article doesn't even register on the Sneer-O-Meter.

Pell Must Get A Fair Trial - July 3, 2017

Andrew Bolt usually provides sources or evidence (using the terms loosely here) to back up his claims. But today's article is wafer thin.

Take the first paragraph: "The media commentary suggests there's little chance Cardinal George Pell can get a fair trial."

All Bolt does is reference "a report in The Age." It doesn't even say who gave the quotes or who wrote the articles or in what context the comments were made. It's ludicrous. It's just a ridiculous attempt to smear the entire media and perpetuate his underlying rhetoric that they are full of "elites" out to bring people down.

"Is this to be a show trial?" Bolt sneers. Well, the police are treating this case extremely carefully and strongly emphasising that Cardinal Pell is innocent until convicted of anything.

But, Bolt says, five years ago the police also said at least 40 people had committed suicide due to abuse at the hands of Catholic clergy, and that the Church remained silent. But those claims couldn't be verified, so Bolt says Pell has been unfairly tarnished.

Of course Pell deserves a fair trial. Everyone has the right to be presumed innocent until proven guilt - I wish Bolt & Co. would remember that the next time something happens involving a Muslim.

But if you think Pell has been unfairly smeared by his association with the Catholic Church then you only need to look at his own words. When facing questioning about the horrific instances of child rape happening in Ballarat when he worked in the area, Pell told the Royal Commission, “It was a sad story and of not much interest to me.”

On the Sneer-O-Meter this ranks:

MILD DISDAIN

PM's Meddling Is All About Politics - June 29, 2017

There's two parts to Andy's article: one, Prime Minister Turnbull has fucked up again by fraternising with Muslims; two, the AFL Tribunal made a bad decision.

First, Bolt is sneering at the AFL Tribunal because it took into account character references from Turnbull and Waleed Aly when it only handed Houli a two-game suspension. "Doesn't [the Tribunal] realise Australians are sick of the cultural elite looking after its own?" Not sure how a sports body is part of the cultural elite but whatever.

Andy thinks it's "bizarre" that Houli played the religion card to escape sterner punishment. That would be bizarre, but it didn't happen. The character references basically said Houli is a good guy and a pillar of the community. Nothing about identity politics there Andy, much as you might try.

"I thought we were fiercely egalitarian," Andy sneers. Well, except if you're Muslim or a woman or both, as Yassmin Abdel-Magied found out.

Secondly, it's a little weird when a politician gets accused of playing politics. It's like saying a full-forward is too focused on kicking goals, or a firefighter only wants to put out fires.

I don't know if there's research on who Muslims tend to vote for, but I would've thought the best thing a political leader could do is to make sure they don't vote for some other party. So if Turnbull dishes out hundreds of thousands of dollars to the Bachar Houli Academy, how is that any different from other pork-barrelling like a new bridge or freeway or hospital?

Is Bolt really that stupid?

On the Sneer-O-Meter this ranks:

CONTEMPTUOUS

 

 

Pyne Cheers As PM Trashes Libs - June 26, 2017

Bolt is upset that Turnbull is risking the wrath of the right-wing faction of the Liberal Party by apparently setting the stage for a free vote in parliament and breaking an election promise.

(I crack up here because it's so bizarre for people to lose their shit anymore at politicians who break election promises - they always do it. Bolt never says anything about Abbott's score of broken promises after the 2013 election!)

Anyway, Turnbull has a "final explosive plan" to destroy the Liberal Party by "secretly plotting" with the "Left" of the Liberal Party. Calling people who slash penalty rates for the lowest paid is a funny way of using Left.

Bolt is also upset that somebody was less than truthful in their political machinations! "So much for their professions of loyalty." Oh the Sneer-O-Meter is flailing! Wildly. The shock! A lying, scheming politician!

What about Trump, Andy? Bosh.

Apparently Turnbull's grand plan is to ensure his post-politics legacy and he needs to be the PM that brought marriage equality. His "entire post-politics reputations relies on it," Andy scathingly writes. Why? Because Turnbull has given us "record debt, record spending, record power prices and higher taxes."

See, it wasn't Labor. It was the Liberals all along.

On the Sneer-O-Meter this ranks:

UNADULTERATED RIDICULE

Shut The Gate To Halt Local Jihadists

"And still they won't shut the gate" thunders Andrew Bolt. I'm surprised his main article isn't advocating the internment of young people whose identify as socialists and anarchists after he was assaulted the other day.

No, it's about Australia turning its back on refugees, because some refugees have committed terrible crimes in Australia. Here: "Did they [politicians/elites] finally concede they'd run a refugee program that put Australians in danger? As if."

That's some Year 7 goodness right there. Of course, after the Brighton siege, the "gravest" question was "why was this jihadist in Australia in the first place?" Turns out this criminal and dill was a refugee from Africa who arrived when he was seven. Seven. Boy these terrorists start young.

Bolt even asks how the authorities can "vet the refugees' children" without irony. I know you can test for spina bifida early on, but radicalisation? Hmm.

I wonder what Australia would look like if it hadn't imported poor people and criminals.

Anyway, Andy does his best to undermine his entire article and the end, which is saying something: "Yes, yes, yes - most refugees fit in well and make good citizens." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

What an idiot.

On the Sneer-O-Meter this ranks:

FOAMING AT THE MOUTH

This New Racism Is Just Apartheid - June 1, 2017

"Say no to racism." It's a funny opening gambit from one of the few people to have been adjudged by a court of law to have racial discriminated someone.

Andy is sneering at Indigenous leaders who assembled at Uluru last week to decide whether they supported the proposed changes to the Constitution to recognise Indigenous Australians. Instead of recognition, a largely symbolic act, they prefer to have a "voice" enshrined in the Constitution and instead prefer a Treaty between the Indigenous and the Australian government.

But this is racism. It's apartheid. It's giving Indigenous people "extra legal rights", whines Andy. I don't know much about this, but perhaps more rights may stop them dying twenty years before the rest of us.

But Indigenous Australians already have rights - they "even had a chief minister" of the NT. Bonza! This "voice" would make Australia a "racist nation." Um, Andy, have you ever met any Australians?

Andy calls on politicians to reject this "lethal nonsense" and "dangerous excuse" because once they "surrender the principle" of one people under the law then "they've surrendered everything." Hyperbole much?

On the Sneer-O-Meter this ranks:

FULL-BLOWN CULTURE WARRIOR

 

 

Tell The Truth Or Shut Up, Duncan - May 29, 2017

I think Andy has missed the point here. He's chiding (well, calling for him to be sacked) ASIO boss Duncan Lewis because Lewis had the temerity to state that there is no evidence to connect refugees and terrorism.

I think Lewis is saying that if one is a refugee that doesn't necessarily mean one will become a terrorist, which Bolt thinks will def happen.

It's like arguing that since the overwhelming majority of terrorists are men then there is a connection between terrorists and penises.

That's what far-right Islamophobes think when it comes to Islam and terrorism. I bet you could find something in the Christian Bible that could be twisted to support violence. I'm sure the Klan did.

Anyway, Lewis "should tell us the truth" or shut up. But what if he did, Andy? Doesn't matter. After Lewis' "smack down" of Pauline Hanson, "Twitter instantly lit up in mockery" of Hanson. But how could Lewis saying something "so obviously false"?

Andy then does his Buzzfeed list thing again. Look, we all know why Lewis said what he said: he was speaking the "elites' conventional sweet untruths" about Islam. Lewis wants Australians to not be "'racist'" and make sure Muslims don't feel "so picked on."

Man, Andy has a very limited vocabulary. Or is he just writing for his intended audience?

Implores Andy: we must stop this "wilful denialism among the elites." That's right - Joe Blow knows more about espionage and counter-terrorism that the boss of ASIO.

On the Sneer-O-Meter this ranks:

FOAMING AT THE MOUTH

When Will We Learn? - May 25, 2017

You just knew that after the Manchester tragedy all the fulminating right-wing blowhards would be furiously tapping away. One dude even wrote an article (WHICH ANDREW BOLT SAID WAS "MAGNIFICENT") declaring it would have been better for the bombs to have blown up at the ABC's Sydney HQ!

(I'd argue it would be better for the bombs to have not exploded, or at least have exploded inside the terrorists' cave killing all the terrorists, but that's just me.)

Anyway, Andy is angry at the do-gooders who had the chutzpah to allow refugees into Australia without regard to their race or religion. Wrong. Because we "refused to keep out Muslim immigrants" we've now got "self-inflicted" terrorism. "All by Muslims."

Like a Collingwood supporter still smarting over Wayne Harmes punching the ball back in, Bolt can't let go of Yasmin Abdel-Magied's Facebook post, linking her and the ABC to the act of terrorism in Britain. For some reason Australia is "desperately trying to show we're so nice to Muslims." I am Australian and know many Australians and Australians are definitely not nice to Muslims.

Anyway, Andy gets some repetition going, which is probably useful when you have to "write" two articles per week, blog all day and host a "TV" show at night. He tells us "They let in" a bunch of people that killed or threatened Australians. Sigh. Why does Andy never talk about the men we let in to Australia who murder their partner or former partners at a rate of one a week?

"What a joke," states Andy. Indeed. Perhaps supporting the illegal invasion of Iraq that opened the gates of hell and brought terrorism to our shores was a bad choice.

This time Andy has nailed it. On the Sneer-O-Meter this ranks:

FULL-BLOWN CULTURE WARRIOR

Why Comey Had It Coming - May 22, 2017

Avid readers of the Herald Sun would no doubt be closely monitoring the events surrounding the 45th President of the United States over the last fortnight.

"So what on earth is the scandal here?" Andy is sneering at the "hysterical reporting" after Trump sacked the FBI Director James Comey, apparently on the advice of his Deputy Attorney-General, even though the President later said he was going to fire Comey anyway. Trump also said "this Russia thing" was an issue in his decision-making process (Process?), which was what Comey was investigating and Trump reportedly asked him to stop. Even Andy can admit Trump has "dangerous indiscipline."

But it's the media ignoring "the facts," you see. They've got a "manic desperation to write their dream story" - Trump being bad. (I wonder if the thought ever occurs to Andy that he'd be without 90% of his normal subject material if not for the "media" and their "hyperventilating stories.")

Anyway, on the Sneer-O-Meter this ranks:

CONTEMPTOUS

 

P.S. How clever is that title?

Hints Of Abbott In Bill's Strategy - May 18, 2017

I think Andy has written an article to convince Labor voters how bad it would be (for Australia!) should Bill Shorten be replaced as Labor leader by leftists Anthony Albanese or Tanya Plibersek.

Opinion writing is a strange profession. You get paid to say "I think" and don't to do much more than that. Evidence, facts, statistics and logic really don't factor into it so much.

Bolt thinks Shorten is just like Tony Abbott, and will implode just like Tony Abbott. (Except Bolt thinks Abbott is WONDERFUL! and should be Prime Minister. Hmm.)

Anyway, Bolt is sneering at the liberal media again, because Abbott had "journalists relentlessly rubbish him and his promises." Yeah, those promises that lying Abbott never kept!

ANYWAY, the latest Coalition budget is a "political masterstroke" - that's straight up sarcasm. But if Shorten were in power he'd "spend recklessly" thanks to his "chokingly high" taxes, not to mention his "ruinously irrational global warming plan."

Man, Andy does love his adjectives and adverbs.

On the Sneer-O-Meter this ranks:

MILD DISDAIN