New Hospital Wing For Politicians Who Shoot Themselves In Foot

Construction is set to begin on a new hospital wing at Canberra Hospital in a joint initiative funded the by federal and territory governments.

The new wing will ostensibly be used for politicians who shoot themselves in the foot.

There was a major outbreak of foot shooting in the past month as politicians from all sides were caught being dual citizens; dual citizens are forbidden to serve as members of parliament under section 44 of the Constitution.

Greens Senators Scott Ludlam and Larissa Waters were found to be citizens of New Zealand and Canada respectively, whilst Liberal Matt Canavan claims his mum signed him up to be an Italian when he was the age of 25.

Canavan had only recently found out it was his mum who had him signed up for Obscure Sports Quarterly.

The new hospital wing will not be able to treat politicians who find themselves in straightjackets, such as Malcolm Turnbull, nor politicians who are missing hearts and brains, like Tony Abbott.