Prototype For Thicker Skin For Delusional Privileged Men

Former Australian of the Year Dr Fiona Wood, the pioneer of spray-on skin that was hugely beneficial in treating Australians maimed in the Bali bombings, has revealed to The Seagull she has been working on a prototype of thicker skin to help fragile snowflake men.

The spray-on formula would work to help middle-class men of privilege when they feel threatened by underprivileged citizens seeking equality.

“This would help many men of privilege who often delusionally feel threatened about their higher status in society as folks from underprivileged communities struggle against discrimination,” said Dr Wood.

The spray-on skin could potentially help someone like Scott Morrison, a conservative Christian, who opposes legal rights for LGBTIQ Australians. Mr Morrison revealed to the media last year he too has struggled with bigotry from proponents of marriage equality.

Mr Morrison did not detail those hurtful experiences. Many LGBTIQ Australians are personally subjected to verbal abuse, workplace discrimination, denial of legal rights and physical violence, including murder. It is understood that Mr Morrison has never been murdered for his conservative views.

Dr Wood stressed the spray-on skin was in the early stages of testing. In the meantime, she urged people like Eddie McGuire and Scott Morrison to “walk a mile in other people’s shoes.”

“A Christian like Scott Morrison would be well aware what it’s like to offer support for the underprivileged, as that is exactly what Jesus taught.”