Taylor Swift Has First Date With Waldorf Salad

The Seagull can reveal that Taylor Swift has had a successful first date with a Waldorf Salad on the Lower West Side of New York City.

It is the first time Swift has been seen on a date since her break-up with the Thai Beef Salad almost four months ago. Friends say the notoriously date-happy singer-songwriter was after a ‘lighter’ partner.

Friends also said she tried experimenting with several exotic desserts, like nitrogen-chilled ice cream and spiced pies, but their sweetness was too much for the already sweet country, pop and pop-rock singer-songwriter.

Friends also say that the ability of the Waldorf to alter itself to become an Emerald Salad, simply by replacing the celery with cauliflower, is an added bonus.