White House Eager For New Independence Day Fireworks From Asia

Sources from inside the White House have revealed to The Seagull they are eagerly anticipating revolutionary new fireworks set to arrive from Asia.

The fireworks will hopefully provide a big demonstration for Fourth of July celebrations.

Fireworks have along history in Asia, being invented in China in the seventh century CE to ward off evil spirits. The sources say President Trump is hopeful the fireworks will eliminate the threat of fake news.

"Obviously the tweet the President tweeted about CNN was a useful communication in getting our message out to the Second Amendment folks about the danger of the media elites," the source said.

Inside the editorial room, The Seagull queried on an existential level whether the fireworks would be useful in warding off of something that was fake.

Nevertheless, The Seagull asked when there would be a demonstration of the new fireworks. The source wasn't sure, but said there had been extensive testing in the Sea of Japan in recent years.