Newborn Babies Wrapped In Burqas

A culture wars scandal-thing has erupted at one of Melbourne’s most prominent private hospitals, Cabrini Hospital.

Administrators at Cabrini, the hospital in question, located in the leafy, non-poor eastern suburb of Malvern, were forced to deny that newborn babies were being wrapped in burqas.

The burqa is an enveloping outer garment worn by women in some Islamic traditions to cover their bodies when in public.

The scandal erupted when photos were published on Andrew Bolt’s TV programme The Bolt Report. In a segment with radio shock jock Steve Price, Bolt argued the hospital was “kow-towing to Islamo-fascists” by “covering up Australian babies of freedom.”

“It’s a cultural fifth column,” Bolt added, unaware his historical reference would be lost on most of his viewers.

Chief Executive of Cabrini Hospital, Dr Michael Walsh, said Bolt’s claims were ludicrous and non-sensical.

“All newborn babies are clothed in the same secular, non-denominational blankets. Our hospital’s foundation is Catholic, but we welcome all in the Christian way.

“If one George Pell-loving right-wing extremist Vaticanite who works at the hospital manipulates the blanket to take a stage-managed photo, what can we do?

“Really, since the face was so visible the photo, it was more of a hijab. I figured Andrew Bolt would know the difference by now,” Dr Walsh concluded.