Cable Ties Back In Stock After Magpie Season

As 2017 draws to a close there is good news for home handypeople and bank robbers everywhere - cable ties are back in stock.

Cable ties are a popular method of resisting harassment from swooping magpies; people ties them on to their helmets or hats to stop magpie attacks.


The months of September and October are when new magpies are born and the parent magpies become fiercely protective, even aggressive. They will swoop down to harass unsuspecting passers-by.

The most common victims are cyclists, which isn't a big deal, and people who feel the need to share every minute detail of their lives on Facebook.

"It gets worse every year," says Darren Hester, a tradie. "I just wanna tie some wood up on me reno at home, but these flamin' cyclists clear out all the cable ties!"

Rest easy Darren. Your precious cable ties have returned.

Note: an earlier version of this story used the term "dive-bombing" instead of "swooping." The term dive-bombing is a NSW expression and is a dumb thing to say.