Conservative Penguin Group Backs Bernardi

A spokespenguin for the conservative Penguin Family Values lobby group has backed the call made by Liberal MP Cory Bernardi that gay marriage will lead to bestiality and polygamy. Lioth Helms denounced the move to legalise same-sex marriage as 'meddling with natural law.'

As with humans, there is growing support for penguins to be given marriage equality.

Helms said that 'so-called progressive intellectuals like to tell everybody what's right for everybody else.' Traditional family values, such as male-female marriage needed to be protected. 'We've all seen those movies. Humans and animals can develop too close a bond and we believe that gay marriage is just the first step.'

But a spokespenguin for the Penguin Parade, a gay rights advocacy group called Helms a 'dinosaur.' Said Eden Miller: 'What you have here is a relic of the past. Helms and Bernardi refuse to accept the fact that their prejudices allow dangerous discrimination against homosexual humans and penguins. For more than one hundred years we've known about same-sex attracted penguins. The straw man that is bestiality is just ludicrous. Will they ban fruit because humans can have sex with a watermelon too?'