Sam Newman

Sam Newman is a retired AFL footballer who played for Geelong and is currently a television personality. He is a co-presenter on The Footy Show on the Nine Network.

Whilst Newman is considered to be one of Geelong’s greats, having played 300 games, won two Best & Fairests and been selected in Geelong’s Team of the Century, his post-playing career has seen him make racist, sexist and homophobic remarks to the point where most people consider him racist, sexist and homophobic.

In 1999 Newman blackened his face to impersonate Indigenous footballer Nicky Winmar. In 2009 he likened a Malaysian man to a monkey. In 2010 he revealed he had hit a golf ball from the top of Uluru, a site held sacred by Indigenous Australians.

In 2008 Newman mocked journalist Caroline Wilson by sticking a picture of her face to a naked mannequin and then experimenting with different clothes. In 2016, after colleague Eddie McGuire joked about drowning Wilson, Newman chimed in by calling Wilson an “embarrassment” and stated “even if you were underwater you’d still be talking.” He also called those who broke the story of McGuire’s comments “excrement.”

In 2014, after NFL player Michael Sam kissed his boyfriend upon hearing he’d been drafted to play for the St. Louis Rams, Newman labelled it an “annoying, gratuitous act” and “No heterosexual couple would do that.”

Sam Newman has been significant for the Nine Network, forcing them to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars in lawsuit after lawsuit. But to the rest of society he’s an Insignificant Arsehair.

Mark Latham

Mark Latham is a former Member of Parliament and leader of the Australian Labor Party. He led the ALP to defeat at the 2004 election, handing the Liberal-National Howard government a majority in both houses of parliament. Since his resignation from parliament, Latham has become an outspoken commentator and author.

Latham has anger management issues. In 2001, under the influence of alcohol, Latham tackled a taxi driver to the ground and broke his arm, after the cabbie had taken Latham’s bag in an attempt to get a fare payment. In 2006, a newspaper photographer took a photo of Latham and his two sons at a Hungry Jack’s. Latham snatched the camera and smashed it. The following day, Latham, whilst driving, veered towards a cameraman filming him near his Sydney home.

In 2015, Latham resigned after spending eight years as a columnist for the Australian Financial Review. The resignation came about after the publication of a series of articles by Latham that were dismissive of feminism, women and mental health issues. Like referring to the planet’s highest ranking transgender military officer Group Captain Cate McGregor as “he/she.” Concurrently, Buzzfeed claimed that the Twitter account @RealMarkLatham was in fact not a parody account but Mark Latham himself.

Using that account, Latham has sent many nasty and aggressive tweets about women, including 2015 Australian of the Year Rosie Batty. Batty’s son Luke was murdered by the child’s father, and this prompted Batty to lead a campaign to raise awareness of domestic violence against women. Latham, as a turd, doesn’t believe domestic violence to be that big of a deal, and if it is, then it’s not because men disrespect women – and children. Latham has said, on occasions, Batty was “exploiting her personal tragedy” and “doing more harm than good” by publicising the issue. What. A. Tool.

In 2016, Latham also said men “use domestic violence as a coping mechanism to get over all the other crap in their lives.” This is a common argument used by misogynists who claim working-class men, or those on welfare, or those with drug addiction problems need to bash women because… reasons.  It’s funny how it’s hardly ever the working-class women who are doing the bashings.

Mark Latham is a has-been and now the self-appointed spiritual leader of western Sydney, making money telling the rest of Australia how uneducated the people of western Sydney are. He is an Insignificant Arsehair. 

Nick Kyrgios

Nick Kyrgios is a tennis player. As a young sportsman, and an Australian, he more often than not given a pass by the wider public and the media despite his juvenile, ill-tampered manner and unprofessional conduct on the court.

For example, in 2015, at the Rogers Cup, Kyrgios directed a sledge at his opponent, Stan Wawrinka, during a court change, saying “Kokkinakis banged your girlfriend, sorry to tell you that mate.” The sledge was in reference to Wawrinka’s current partner who had previously dated Thanasi Kokkinakis, a fellow Australian tennis player.

Also in 2015, at Wimbledon, Kyrgios was booed by the crowd for apparent lack of effort, particularly when he made no attempt to return a serve in the second set.  

At Wimbledon in 2016, Kyrgios continued to be a brat. In one match when he was called out for bad behaviour by a line judge he remonstrated (sooked) with the chair umpire, saying “What did he just say to you? Does it feel good to be up there in that chair? Does it make you feel strong?”

At the Cincinnati Masters later that year, Kyrgios sooked about losing the first set against Croatian Borna Coric and went about smashing three racquets during a court changeover.

Most tennis players are sooks. Most of the them are probably arsehairs. But Nick Kyrgios is definitely an Insignificant Arsehair.

Bernie Ecclestone

Bernie Ecclestone is a British businessman and the former chief executive of the Formula One Group, which essentially made him the boss of Formula 1. He was more commonly known as the “F1 Supremo.”

Photo: Getty

Photo: Getty

Ecclestone is one of those businessman that uses money, connections and influence to get where he needs to go. He was a founding member of the Formula One Constructors Association which grew in power under his direction. Ecclestone also owned the Brabham racing team, and his legal advisor was Max Mosley, who later went on to lead the FIA, F1’s governing body. A Conservative MP claimed Ecclestone offered a bribe to parachute Mosley into a safe Conservative seat for the 2005 UK General Election. Ecclestone denied the bribery claims.

Bribery allegations and tax avoidance have been a feature of Ecclestone’s life. There was a lengthy case that involved the sale of Formula 1 and Ecclestone was indicted for bribery by a German court; he claimed he was being blackmailed over a family trust. Eventually, a Munich court ruled in 2014 that Ecclestone could pay £60m to make the trial go away. Hmm. He was allowed to achieve a similar outcome over tax avoidance in 2008 with a payment to Inland Revenue of £10m. Ecclestone even got the UK Labour government to seek an exemption for F1 in regards to tobacco sponsorship in the same year he donated £1m.

In 2009, Ecclestone made comments seen as supportive of Adolf Hitler, former Nazi party leader and dictator of Germany. He had said Hitler was “able to get things done” and seemed to intimate that the dictator was persuaded to do the bad things he did. It seems pretty obvious to most people that you don’t say positive things about Hitler unless you are a Nazi or an anti-Semite. Still, after many Jewish organisations criticised his stupid comments, he said “it’s a pity they didn’t sort the banks out” referring to the global financial crisis of 2008. Classic anti-Semitic stereotyping!

Oh, and when speaking about US IndyCar driver Danica Patrick, the first woman to win an IndyCar race, Ecclestone said “women should be dressed in white like all the other domestic appliances.”

Bernie Ecclestone is one of those businessmen obsessed with money and power, but, inside is a really shitty person, one of those toffs that makes idiotic comments every now and then. Undoubtedly he has grown the sport of Formula 1, so he is a Significant Arsehair.

Chris Gayle

Chris Gayle is a Jamaican cricketer who plays international cricket for the West Indies. He is one ofonly four players to score two triple centuries at Test level, and the first batsman in history to hit a double century at a World Cup competition and holds the record for the highest individual score in a T20 match.

Gayle is a great batsman, but has often found himself at odds with the West Indies team administrators, and has been reprimanded and dropped several times for his comments.

But it was during the Australian Big Bash competition in January 2016 where Gayle faced his strongest criticism. While being interviewed by Australian presenter Mel McLaughlin, Gayle said “hopefully we can win this game and we can have a drink after” followed by “Don’t blush, baby.” The sexist remarks were widely criticised in the media as sexist. Fellow journalist Neroli Meadows said Gayle had behaved this way for years and it was done to “humiliate” women.

In May 2016, The Times’ Charlotte Edwardes wrote that Gayle had made lewd remarks when she interviewed. Edwardes wrote that the batsman boasted about having a “very, very big bat, the biggest in the woooorld” and “You think you could life it? You’d need two hands.” Gayle also asked the journalist whether she had had sex with a black man and whether she’d had a threesome.

Chris Gayle is an Insignificant Arsehair. 

Alan Jones

Alan Jones is a radio broadcaster and political commentator. He has also worked as a teacher, a Liberal Party speechwriter and coach of the Australia Rugby Union Team.

Jones is a fearless radio broadcaster, unafraid to take on any issue. Jones and colleague John Laws had for years spent countless hours criticising big companies for their treatment of employees and customers, such as Qantas, Optus, Foxtel and the Big Four banks. However, it was revealed in 1999 that the pair had subsequently been paid to give favourable comment for these companies without disclosing this arrangement to their listeners. It became known as the Cash For Comment affair and, following this, broadcasting regulations were changed.

In 2005, Jones was found to have racially vilified members of the Lebanese community in the lead-up to the Cronulla riots, saying Lebanese males hated Australia, were raping and pillaging, were vermin, and there was a national security crisis. The NSW Administrative Decisions Tribunal ordered him to apologise, but his first attempt was so lame they made him do it again, this time properly.

Jones often espouses conservative views, but also fights against conservative economic orthodoxy on issues like coal-seam gas exploration, which he opposes. However, Jones is also a supporter of the Galileo Movement, an advocacy group which denies the scientific consensus of climate change and believes it is a hoax perpetuated by Jewish bankers and the United Nations to form a world government.

Jones has been sued a tremendous number of times over his career, as well as embroiling himself in a number of contempt of court proceedings. But he is never afraid to speak out. After Prime Minister Julia Gillard changed her government’s 2010 pre-election policy of not installing a carbon tax to combat climate change, Jones zeroed-in on the Prime Minister, cleverly changing her name in his on-air broadcasts from “Julia” to “Ju-liar.”

Jones seemed to have an intense obsession with Gillard. In 2011 he said Gillard was “off her tree” and should be shoved in a chaff bag, taken far out to sea to see if she could swim home. It is not known how often Jones demands attempted murder of Australia’s Prime Ministers. Also, after the recent passing of Gillard’s father, Jones remarked that he had “died of shame” because of the actions of her daughter. Classy.

Alan Jones is a lightning rod for racist, sexist, bigoted people who listen to talkback radio - i.e. Australians. Unfortunately for society and the norms of decency, he is a Significant Arsehair.