Nigel Farage

Nigel Farage is a proud British nationalist politician with a French name. He is a Member of the European Parliament representing the United Kingdom Independence Party – UKIP. He was one of the public faces of the successful Leave campaign for the British EU referendum of June 23, 2016, known as Brexit.


Farage declared the secession from Europe as a victory for “the real people, for the ordinary people, for the decent people” which presupposes that the other 48% of British voters who did not want to exit Europe are indecent and not real.  The Leave campaign made damn sure Britons knew they would regain control of their borders, although being an island nation The Seagull finds that bizarre. Also bizarre, a kingdom that once colonised a third of the planet was uncomfortable with foreigners being inside their borders.

Farage is also kind of a dick. Despite loathing the EU, he serves as a parliamentarian there, where he verbally attacked EU President Herman Van Rompuy in 2010, saying “You have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk.”

Oh, he also doesn’t believe climate change is a problem and wants to reopen Britain’s dirty coal mines because carbon dioxide is, y’know, good for plants!

Unfortunately for Britain, Europe and indecent people, Nigel Farage is a Significant Arsehair.

Tim Blair

Tim Blair is a blogger, editor, journalist and political commentator. Blair writes for Sydney’s Daily Telegraph, where his blog is now located.


Blair is a conservative, and one of those conservatives who writes for the media in that sense of "conservatism is the way of truth and everyone else’s views are 100% wrong. Also, no compromising." Blair also writes in the method of going after other journalists, reporters and presenters.

Case in point: 2014, and Blair ran a poll on his blog to Crown Our Crazy Queen. Writes Blair:

They shriek, they rage, they cheer, they despair, they exult, they scream, they laugh, they cry! There’s never a non-emotional moment in the lives of Australia’s left-wing ladies’ auxiliary, whose psychosocial behavioural disorders are becoming ever more dramatic following Tony Abbott’s election.

The poll was a search for Australia’s “most unhinged hysteric” leftwing woman. Blair seems to have a pathological distaste for intelligent women, often making personal remarks against them, or writing about the way they look, the way they sound and the clothes they wear, even mocking someone’s dead father. Classy.

Next up: 2016, and Blair wrote an article critical of transgender woman Caitlyn Jenner and light-skinned Indigenous Australians. He compared them to fraudster Belle Gibson, a fraud who claimed she had cancer and had the treatment for cancer and actively helped to make people with cancer more sick. Because, whereas Caitlyn Jenner has realised she is a transgender woman, and light-skinned Indigenous Australians are Indigenous Australians, Gibson had merely “identified as a cancer sufferer.” Clearly the same thing.

To continue: 2016, and Blair wrote an article lampooning ABC employees who were seeking domestic violence leave as part of their new employment agreement. He asked, “What kind of carnage-strewn bloodhouse are they operating over there?” Turns out his colleagues at News Corporation were also seeking domestic violence leave as part of their new agreement, and were confused as to why News Corporation would allow one of its columnists to undermine the good work done by its newspapers to combat the scourge of domestic violence.

Some see Blair’s work as satire. You know, satirising minorities, the disadvantaged, victims of violence, the mentally ill, etc. But it’s not. Well, it’s funny if you’re a fucking piece of shit. Tim Blair ain’t Significant; he ain’t even an Arsehair. Tim Blair is a turd.

Wayne LaPierre

When Adam Lanza murdered 26 people, including 20 children and six teachers, at Sandy Hook Elementary School, he caused the third-deadliest mass shooting by a single person in US history.


Though President Barack Obama signed 23 executive orders, all legislative efforts to enact gun control were voted down by Republican lawmakers in Congress.

Since the Sandy Hook massacre, there have been 1,399 more mass shootings, resulting in the deaths of 1,564 people and the wounding of 5,515 people.

One week after the Sandy Hook massacre, the executive vice-president of the National Rifle Association, Wayne LaPierre, blamed the massacre on gun-free schools, the media, music videos, video games and Hollywood films.

LaPierre’s solution is to put armed guards in every American school though an armed guard did not stop the Columbine High School massacre in 1999.

LaPierre often says idiotic things. In 1995 he described federal agents as “jack-booted government thugs” who wear “Nazi bucket helmets and black storm trooper uniforms.” Former President George H. W. Bush was so incensed by the statement that he resigned his NRA life membership.

Unfortunately, as the NRA is the most powerful lobbyist group in America, Wayne LaPierre is a Significant Arsehair.

Samantha Armytage

Samantha Armytage is co-host of Channel Seven’s Sunrise morning TV programme.


In 2016, Armytage surprised her guest Kristin Davis, UNHCR Ambassador and star of the TV series Sex And The City, by performing an impromptu skit. Davis had only agreed to appear on television to talk about the UNHCR program. As a result of that bizarre moment, Armytage was dumped as host of a fundraiser being held for the UNHCR the next day. And Davis ended up tweeting a wink to Lisa Wilkinson, host of the rival Today programme who had praised Davis’ charity work.

Of course, everyone’s got an opinion on everything and anything these days, so ABC TV presenter Virginia Haussegger wrote a column for the Canberra Times to single out Armytage for the skit. Haussegger also threw in some loaded language with words like bimbo, ditzy, and daft to prove… something. Anyway, Armytage was miffed and said she had to Google who Haussegger was, which Haussegger found amusing considering she interviewed Armytage for a job in her Canberra bureau. Whew!

Armytage is a selfish dill with either a bad memory or someone who is a liar. She’s just a morning TV mouthpiece for her producers, so she doesn’t have much to say. Therefore, an Insignificant Arsehair.

Peter Dutton

Peter Dutton is a Liberal member of the House of Representatives and the current Minister for Immigration and Border Protection.

Dutton is often criticised for trashing Australia’s legacy of welcoming and accepting migrants and refugees. After all, with only 3% of Australia’s population Indigenous Australians, that means 97% are migrants or descendants of migrants. During the 2016 election campaign, Dutton remarked that many refugees who arrive in Australia aren’t “numerate or literate in their own language, let alone English” and they would end up taking Australian jobs. (Many people noted that surprising claim that illiterate and innumerate refugees would somehow be able to take jobs from hard-working, honest Australians.)

Ever since 2001, when former Prime Minster John Howard told refugees fleeing persecution to get fucked, most Australians and most Australian politicians have seen it necessary to have cruel, brutal and inhumane policies to deter people fleeing for their lives. In 2016 The Guardian revealed 2000 incident reports which contained graphic reports of sexual assault, child abuse and self-harm in detention centres in Nauru, the island nation where asylum seekers are banished. Dutton said many were false claims, because refugees are noted liars and have paid people smugglers to flee persecution and to get to Australia, so how could they be believed? He also said detainees were self-immolating to get to Australia, presumably to have their ashes scattered in this sunburnt country.

In 2015, Dutton made an insensitive joke at the expense of low-lying Pacific island nations, saying “Time doesn’t mean anything when you're about to have water lapping at your door.” Also, when Liberal colleague Jamie Briggs was sacked for inappropriate sexual behaviour towards a staffer, Dutton sent a text message - intended for Jamie Briggs - calling journalist Samantha Maiden a “mad fucking witch.” Maiden, a News Corp editor, wrote about the Briggs scandal, and received Dutton’s text message first.

Dutton seems to really dislike people with vaginas. Also in 2015, Dutton called Greens Senator Sarah Hanson-Young an “embarrassment to the country” after she claimed staff from Wilson Security had spied on her during her trip to Nauru. The claims turned out to be true, but Dutton never retracted or apologised for the comments.

As Australia goes through serious soul-searching in light of the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse, there will no doubt be the same self-reflection when a royal commission inevitably investigates the offshore detention of asylum seekers. Unfortunately, for those innocents stuck in camps overseas, Peter Dutton is a Significant Arsehair.

David Leyonhjelm

David Leyonhjelm is an Australian Senator for New South Wales, representing the Liberal Democrats Party. He is also a former practicing veterinarian. He has changed his political allegiance many times from Labor to Liberal to the Shooters’ Party and finally to the Liberal Democrats Party.

Leyonhjelm is a gun enthusiast and currently president of the Inner West Hunters Club in Sydney. He is so enthusiastic about guns that he rage-quit the Liberal Party in 1996 when then-Prime Minister John Howard to action to restrict guns in the wake of the murders of 35 people at Port Arthur. After a terrorist attack in Sydney in 2014, then-Prime Minister Tony Abbott sensibly made a sensible decision to suspend imports of a “fast and furious” lever-action shotgun that could undermine Australia’s keeping-children-alive gun control laws.

However, Abbott implemented a sunset clause upon the suspension, enabling the ban to end after 12 months in exchange for Leyonhjelm’s support for the government’s migration law changes. So now there’s over 7000 shotguns in Australia that can be easily converted to fire 11 shots in as many seconds.

Apart from having a gun fetish, Leyonhjelm also maintains arousal over thoughts of reducing taxes on everyone, but especially wealth creators i.e. rich people. In a video speech delivered during the 2016 Federal election campaign, Leyonhjelm apologized for the “needless pain, suffering and hurt” caused by government taxes and regulation. Some said it parodied former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s apology to Indigienous Australians who were part of the Stolen Generation. Parody is perhaps the wrong word, because Leyonhjelm no doubt sincerely believes that taxes do nothing but hurt people, especially taxes spent on hospitals, doctors, nurses and Medicare.

Hopefully this Insignificant Arsehair is only remembered for being a genuine arsehole and not the thousands of dangerous shotguns he helped bring into Australia.

Sam Newman

Sam Newman is a retired AFL footballer who played for Geelong and is currently a television personality. He is a co-presenter on The Footy Show on the Nine Network.

Whilst Newman is considered to be one of Geelong’s greats, having played 300 games, won two Best & Fairests and been selected in Geelong’s Team of the Century, his post-playing career has seen him make racist, sexist and homophobic remarks to the point where most people consider him racist, sexist and homophobic.

In 1999 Newman blackened his face to impersonate Indigenous footballer Nicky Winmar. In 2009 he likened a Malaysian man to a monkey. In 2010 he revealed he had hit a golf ball from the top of Uluru, a site held sacred by Indigenous Australians.

In 2008 Newman mocked journalist Caroline Wilson by sticking a picture of her face to a naked mannequin and then experimenting with different clothes. In 2016, after colleague Eddie McGuire joked about drowning Wilson, Newman chimed in by calling Wilson an “embarrassment” and stated “even if you were underwater you’d still be talking.” He also called those who broke the story of McGuire’s comments “excrement.”

In 2014, after NFL player Michael Sam kissed his boyfriend upon hearing he’d been drafted to play for the St. Louis Rams, Newman labelled it an “annoying, gratuitous act” and “No heterosexual couple would do that.”

Sam Newman has been significant for the Nine Network, forcing them to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars in lawsuit after lawsuit. But to the rest of society he’s an Insignificant Arsehair.

Mark Latham

Mark Latham is a former Member of Parliament and leader of the Australian Labor Party. He led the ALP to defeat at the 2004 election, handing the Liberal-National Howard government a majority in both houses of parliament. Since his resignation from parliament, Latham has become an outspoken commentator and author.

Latham has anger management issues. In 2001, under the influence of alcohol, Latham tackled a taxi driver to the ground and broke his arm, after the cabbie had taken Latham’s bag in an attempt to get a fare payment. In 2006, a newspaper photographer took a photo of Latham and his two sons at a Hungry Jack’s. Latham snatched the camera and smashed it. The following day, Latham, whilst driving, veered towards a cameraman filming him near his Sydney home.

In 2015, Latham resigned after spending eight years as a columnist for the Australian Financial Review. The resignation came about after the publication of a series of articles by Latham that were dismissive of feminism, women and mental health issues. Like referring to the planet’s highest ranking transgender military officer Group Captain Cate McGregor as “he/she.” Concurrently, Buzzfeed claimed that the Twitter account @RealMarkLatham was in fact not a parody account but Mark Latham himself.

Using that account, Latham has sent many nasty and aggressive tweets about women, including 2015 Australian of the Year Rosie Batty. Batty’s son Luke was murdered by the child’s father, and this prompted Batty to lead a campaign to raise awareness of domestic violence against women. Latham, as a turd, doesn’t believe domestic violence to be that big of a deal, and if it is, then it’s not because men disrespect women – and children. Latham has said, on occasions, Batty was “exploiting her personal tragedy” and “doing more harm than good” by publicising the issue. What. A. Tool.

In 2016, Latham also said men “use domestic violence as a coping mechanism to get over all the other crap in their lives.” This is a common argument used by misogynists who claim working-class men, or those on welfare, or those with drug addiction problems need to bash women because… reasons.  It’s funny how it’s hardly ever the working-class women who are doing the bashings.

Mark Latham is a has-been and now the self-appointed spiritual leader of western Sydney, making money telling the rest of Australia how uneducated the people of western Sydney are. He is an Insignificant Arsehair. 

Nick Kyrgios

Nick Kyrgios is a tennis player. As a young sportsman, and an Australian, he more often than not given a pass by the wider public and the media despite his juvenile, ill-tampered manner and unprofessional conduct on the court.

For example, in 2015, at the Rogers Cup, Kyrgios directed a sledge at his opponent, Stan Wawrinka, during a court change, saying “Kokkinakis banged your girlfriend, sorry to tell you that mate.” The sledge was in reference to Wawrinka’s current partner who had previously dated Thanasi Kokkinakis, a fellow Australian tennis player.

Also in 2015, at Wimbledon, Kyrgios was booed by the crowd for apparent lack of effort, particularly when he made no attempt to return a serve in the second set.  

At Wimbledon in 2016, Kyrgios continued to be a brat. In one match when he was called out for bad behaviour by a line judge he remonstrated (sooked) with the chair umpire, saying “What did he just say to you? Does it feel good to be up there in that chair? Does it make you feel strong?”

At the Cincinnati Masters later that year, Kyrgios sooked about losing the first set against Croatian Borna Coric and went about smashing three racquets during a court changeover.

Most tennis players are sooks. Most of the them are probably arsehairs. But Nick Kyrgios is definitely an Insignificant Arsehair.

Bernie Ecclestone

Bernie Ecclestone is a British businessman and the former chief executive of the Formula One Group, which essentially made him the boss of Formula 1. He was more commonly known as the “F1 Supremo.”

Photo: Getty

Photo: Getty

Ecclestone is one of those businessman that uses money, connections and influence to get where he needs to go. He was a founding member of the Formula One Constructors Association which grew in power under his direction. Ecclestone also owned the Brabham racing team, and his legal advisor was Max Mosley, who later went on to lead the FIA, F1’s governing body. A Conservative MP claimed Ecclestone offered a bribe to parachute Mosley into a safe Conservative seat for the 2005 UK General Election. Ecclestone denied the bribery claims.

Bribery allegations and tax avoidance have been a feature of Ecclestone’s life. There was a lengthy case that involved the sale of Formula 1 and Ecclestone was indicted for bribery by a German court; he claimed he was being blackmailed over a family trust. Eventually, a Munich court ruled in 2014 that Ecclestone could pay £60m to make the trial go away. Hmm. He was allowed to achieve a similar outcome over tax avoidance in 2008 with a payment to Inland Revenue of £10m. Ecclestone even got the UK Labour government to seek an exemption for F1 in regards to tobacco sponsorship in the same year he donated £1m.

In 2009, Ecclestone made comments seen as supportive of Adolf Hitler, former Nazi party leader and dictator of Germany. He had said Hitler was “able to get things done” and seemed to intimate that the dictator was persuaded to do the bad things he did. It seems pretty obvious to most people that you don’t say positive things about Hitler unless you are a Nazi or an anti-Semite. Still, after many Jewish organisations criticised his stupid comments, he said “it’s a pity they didn’t sort the banks out” referring to the global financial crisis of 2008. Classic anti-Semitic stereotyping!

Oh, and when speaking about US IndyCar driver Danica Patrick, the first woman to win an IndyCar race, Ecclestone said “women should be dressed in white like all the other domestic appliances.”

Bernie Ecclestone is one of those businessmen obsessed with money and power, but, inside is a really shitty person, one of those toffs that makes idiotic comments every now and then. Undoubtedly he has grown the sport of Formula 1, so he is a Significant Arsehair.

Chris Gayle

Chris Gayle is a Jamaican cricketer who plays international cricket for the West Indies. He is one ofonly four players to score two triple centuries at Test level, and the first batsman in history to hit a double century at a World Cup competition and holds the record for the highest individual score in a T20 match.

Gayle is a great batsman, but has often found himself at odds with the West Indies team administrators, and has been reprimanded and dropped several times for his comments.

But it was during the Australian Big Bash competition in January 2016 where Gayle faced his strongest criticism. While being interviewed by Australian presenter Mel McLaughlin, Gayle said “hopefully we can win this game and we can have a drink after” followed by “Don’t blush, baby.” The sexist remarks were widely criticised in the media as sexist. Fellow journalist Neroli Meadows said Gayle had behaved this way for years and it was done to “humiliate” women.

In May 2016, The Times’ Charlotte Edwardes wrote that Gayle had made lewd remarks when she interviewed. Edwardes wrote that the batsman boasted about having a “very, very big bat, the biggest in the woooorld” and “You think you could life it? You’d need two hands.” Gayle also asked the journalist whether she had had sex with a black man and whether she’d had a threesome.

Chris Gayle is an Insignificant Arsehair. 

Alan Jones

Alan Jones is a radio broadcaster and political commentator. He has also worked as a teacher, a Liberal Party speechwriter and coach of the Australia Rugby Union Team.

Jones is a fearless radio broadcaster, unafraid to take on any issue. Jones and colleague John Laws had for years spent countless hours criticising big companies for their treatment of employees and customers, such as Qantas, Optus, Foxtel and the Big Four banks. However, it was revealed in 1999 that the pair had subsequently been paid to give favourable comment for these companies without disclosing this arrangement to their listeners. It became known as the Cash For Comment affair and, following this, broadcasting regulations were changed.

In 2005, Jones was found to have racially vilified members of the Lebanese community in the lead-up to the Cronulla riots, saying Lebanese males hated Australia, were raping and pillaging, were vermin, and there was a national security crisis. The NSW Administrative Decisions Tribunal ordered him to apologise, but his first attempt was so lame they made him do it again, this time properly.

Jones often espouses conservative views, but also fights against conservative economic orthodoxy on issues like coal-seam gas exploration, which he opposes. However, Jones is also a supporter of the Galileo Movement, an advocacy group which denies the scientific consensus of climate change and believes it is a hoax perpetuated by Jewish bankers and the United Nations to form a world government.

Jones has been sued a tremendous number of times over his career, as well as embroiling himself in a number of contempt of court proceedings. But he is never afraid to speak out. After Prime Minister Julia Gillard changed her government’s 2010 pre-election policy of not installing a carbon tax to combat climate change, Jones zeroed-in on the Prime Minister, cleverly changing her name in his on-air broadcasts from “Julia” to “Ju-liar.”

Jones seemed to have an intense obsession with Gillard. In 2011 he said Gillard was “off her tree” and should be shoved in a chaff bag, taken far out to sea to see if she could swim home. It is not known how often Jones demands attempted murder of Australia’s Prime Ministers. Also, after the recent passing of Gillard’s father, Jones remarked that he had “died of shame” because of the actions of her daughter. Classy.

Alan Jones is a lightning rod for racist, sexist, bigoted people who listen to talkback radio - i.e. Australians. Unfortunately for society and the norms of decency, he is a Significant Arsehair.